purity

my blade enters me
like father did
uncle did
strange men did

my blade pulls out
just like mother did
brother did
strange men did; eventually

my blade is a peculiar colour
dark, like stone; if not for the blood
like my room
my freezing dungeon

my blood trickles down; runs down
just like brother did; to the grocery
entered pockets empty; but for a gun
exited in a body bag; still we famish

my body dishonored
in other houses
in other rooms
in other beds

my blade; disfigured by blood
just like mother
after she tried to save me
after father caught her

my blade drains me
just like the drugs did
pain did
baby did

my blade colours the world red
cleansing it of sorrow
cleansing it of pain
cleansing it of me

my blade makes me happy
like brother did
like mother did
nothing like father’s drugs did

my blade; covered in rust
my life; covered in blood
my family; covered in dirt
my face; covered in shame

my life; pain
my body; violated
my mind; numb
my soul now clean